January 15th critiques COMMENT due by Thursday, January 18th

January 15, 2018

Everyone	Quiet back stage FOCUS ALL WOMEN FIGURE OUT HAIR STYLES BEFORE MONDAY- LOOK AT BLOG, MOVIES, ETC. React to each other Farewell scene – stay in character. Tipperary scene – faces must reflect death, chaos, etc. You’ve never seen this much trauma with the dead, etc. HIT VERBS – It does make a difference. Hold things above heads. transition before 1st factory needs help quiet when clearing bar!! long way to Tipperary needs to be creepy, sad etc maybe sing in slow mo too Memorize lines – know it is hard when I throw new lines at you; however, if this were easy – everyone would go to state. Work on Tipperary chaos.  Too many people are exiting right stage.  Reese – follow Ramzi. Work on transitions. You CAN’T kick the bricks – they are bricks!  - thanks , Brooklyn Hold things above heads – Look at Hamilton – ask Brooklyn Farewell scene – stay in character Quiet backstage Faster transitions between doll and factory scene. During hysteria at the beginning, just put factory scene in disarray. Clarify freezes and slow mo. RADIO Scene – faster –SOUND do not turn radio on until Viv turns it on. Maky – work with Jonathan on consistency of accent. From last factory scene to end is TOO FAST
DEAD PEOPLE	STEP ON LINES AND VARY PACING – IT’S NOT ALL SLOW.
Living people in dead scene	Move and react more – spread living people more.
First soldier & Viv	While dancing, cheat so that we can see soldier. Go down under must be heard – look at pals before you say that.
Factory girls	We need to see friendships or enemies. People noises going to factory. React to each other.
The Gently family	Must have a relationship in the opening scene -Kadyn don’t yell “you are not taking my children” use feeling  Kadyn’s house scene seems too fake. Say the words with feeling – Kadyn and Eli have more chemistry when laughing about forgotten lines than in the play
Judith & Angie	Be more mother daughter – it appears as though you are friends. – hose seam scene.
Frank	Letter reading – why is your hand in your shirt? SLOW DOWN In first scene. Hit VERBS Stay in character with dead people. May have COST us
Tom	Better job on finding your sister- increase emotion. You are a little boy trying to find the only person left in your family. Doll scene – louder. Stay in character on and off stage. “everywhere” stay in character. First doll scene - louder
Bela	Not believable – I’m getting married
Mr. Briggs	Louder Cheat out. THE BOMB IS HEAVY In factory scene, decide on a character and stick with it.  Stay in character during factory. Actually BEAT he’s being sent Look at Alister when he talks. Gray pants – Briggs Navy – foreman
The Briggs family	More upset, but trying to be controlled seeing Alister. Cheat toward audience more  during return scene.
Mrs. Briggs /Lucy	Don’t hide behind shovel.
Mrs. Briggs & Viv	React more in factory scene.  Mrs. Briggs, you need a different name - Lucy
Alister & Mr. Briggs	Spencer and Jonathan need to enunciate
Judith	Kadyn feel your lines, don’t just say them  Kadyn maybe try using other voice techniques than yelling when you do lines about “ I hate my country” this whole part is too much yelling, not enough feeling Define your attitude in both factory scenes. How are they different? First factory scene – look at bomb pieces. Different outfit in ironing scene – get coat from coatrack to farewell scene. In the promises line – put fingertip on Frank’s lips.
Brian	Reese lost line “dad would never ??” More upset when joan talks about your dad – you are so scared about going to war plus, you loved your dad. As dead man – we can’t see your face – let’s do a paper boy hat.
Joan	ashlynn have anger when you threaten to forget name and face. This is a threat. Ashlynn should be a bitter bug lady ashlynn let’s work on you last monologue after you shoot German we haven’t KILLED – hit verbs. PLEAD with Brian – don’t be mad all the time.
Smuts Alister	Spencer find someone to imitate with a deep voice Spencer move like you lost a leg when you’re on crutches Do not sway
Mira and Tom	too loud with stomping in kid scene, can’t hear Collin and cooper
Sheila	Reagan make “crash course” funny What are our wages – slower & louder
Frakker	can’t understand frakker enunciation in 1st factory scene Hit verbs and consonants. I LOVE my COUNTRY
Music	music is too loud when Reese says “down under”
First & second soldier	Evan and Reese let your hands wander on Contest day
Student (Viv)	Payton make me believe your monologue like you are feeling it Head motion is weird – let’s try something else.
Bus driver/Mrs. Briggs	Maky you sound the same as both characters. You must be different when you are the bus driver!!! HIT KILLING
Angie and Tom	Flag waving scene – find the light.
Needs	do we need rugs on the levels? It’s loud every time anyone moves cans of fruit eyebrow pencil spencer belt 4 hats Different shirt – Ashlynn in factory and Kadyn in mourning Compact Lipstick Purse Sun glasses Knee socks Disposable cameras. Watch Shoulder pads Black brown navy spray paint Beret for Payton