Notes - for this next three weeks, there are already blog comments that need to be made.

Here are my notes:

Add some Josh Harriman fog running throughout the show to show the bombed-out smoldering city.

Beautiful set. Love the soldier! However, sometimes I thought there was too much set because it seemed to hinder the blocking. They were having to maneuver around too much stuff.

The frantic breathing and gasping was too loud during Judith’s reading of the letter. Pull back on that so we can hear and understand her.

Frank & Judith… “Promise. No, I’ll prove it.” – too much profile from both of them.

Brian’s mom… I would like to see her drinking during her lines (drinking and speaking all at once)…not just after she finishes. Make it more realistic.

Tom/Mira – great chemistry

Boys with sleeves rolled to the elbows. I think that is a current trend among teens; maybe not something men of this time period would do… especially in COLD conditions of England.

All costumes are too clean for the conditions that they are in.

I notice that you’ve changed lines. Do you have permission to do so? Example… “I’ll be gobsmacked.”

When Viv and Harry leave, where are they going? There is no motivation in their exit. We know what they are going to do, but do THEY? They didn’t indicate it as they just left the stage.

“Where would you rather be? In or out?” – are there sexual implications in this line or is my mind just in the gutter? If so, play the sub-context.

Tom – “I hate my dad!” – great scene.

LOVED the bus driver’s voice.

Frank – beautiful letter to Judith.

Dead girl has the best characterization of the entire cast. She is internal.

“19 April, 1941” – lots of Texas accent.

Joan – “I haven’t killed inyone” – lost the accent

Weird note – We sing in American dialect; but we speak with British dialect. I think that is inconsistent.

Judith – ‘It’s expected of men. I’ll cut his head off!” – screaming! Can you try the opposite here and have her say it internally through gritted teeth. The screaming doesn’t work for me and it affects her diction.

Smuts as the factory worker with the affliction – best physical characterization of the cast. Try that with others, now. He is hard to understand at times, but his physicality works.

“I want to win a tiny one for myself.” – Yelling; lost the line. Play the opposite emotion.

Gasping reactions are all the same. Each character needs to have a different reaction.

I could have given you many more awards, but you know how that is. I only have 18 to give.

I was afraid that I might get lost in the storytelling, but I did not. You told the story well. I suggest that you really hit the lines about being “at the front of something”, since it is so important in revealing the title of the play.